Oh My Gosh, They're Fictional Characters!
by Shae Elven Heart
Summary: (Ch 3 will have a couple more additions!)Rabid fangirls meet their favorite Holes characters and things get wacky!
1. Default Chapter

I'm in one of my hyper modes right now . . . I just HAD to write this. I was hanging out with my friend Rina yesterday and we were discussing what would happen if we met our favorite Holes characters. What happens in this story is what we talked about. I'm hyper!  
  
Summary: Well, it says it on the link to this story! Jeez!  
  
Disclaimer: I own no one but me. Rina is herself. I don't own any Holes characters. If I have to write one more disclaimer, I will bump my head continually against the monitor while whimpering.  
  
Rating: PG13 because I might scare the younger audiences.  
  
"Oh My Gosh, They're Fictional Characters!"  
  
Episode One: Rabid Fangirls Rina and Shae  
  
*Shae steps onto the screen in a tacky looking . . . outfit . . . with a toothbrush for her microphone.*  
  
Shae: Hello! I'm Shae E. Heart, host for the 'Oh My Gosh, They're Fictional Characters!' TV Reality Show, where fangirls have the opportunity to seek out their favorite characters and . . . do whatever. Today we will be bringing the characters of Holes into our show today. Holes fanatics Rina and Shae (ME!) will be joining us. Remember, no one was SERIOUSLY harmed in the making of this fanfiction story.  
  
*Shae replaces her dorky TV host outfit with a regular Shae outfit and snaps her fingers. Camp Greenlake suddenly appears.*  
  
Camera dude: Whoa! How'd ya do that?"  
  
Shae: Shut up and film!  
  
*Rina pops in out of nowhere.*  
  
Rina: *Waves frantically* Hii-eeeeeee!!  
  
Shae: *imitates Rina* HII-EEEEEEE!  
  
Rina: Where's Stanley, huh, huh? WHERE IS HE?!  
  
Shae: *Points towards a tent marked D* He over DAAAAAYRE!  
  
Rina: AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!! STANLEY!!!! *starts running like a lunatic towards D-tent.*  
  
Shae: *blinks.* WAIIIIT! *Runs like a lunatic too.*  
  
Camera dude: *Running all outta breath like that one camera dude on Cops.* WAIT FOR ME!! AAAAAAAHHH! *Pants fall down and he trips, falling into a hole.*  
  
*The girls bust into D-tent. Zigzag is the only one in there. Zigzag isn't wearing a shirt.*  
  
Zigzag: *gasps and tries to cover up with his arms* I'm not mature enough to be half naked in front of the opposite sex!  
  
Shae: *pulls his arms away from his chest* Ooh. Nice!  
  
*Squid walks in from the shower wearing only a towel. Shae eyes him.*  
  
Shae: Ooh. Nicer!  
  
Squid: *dives into his cot and hides under the covers* Eeep! Perverted girl!  
  
Rina: Where's Stanley? I NEED STANLEY!!  
  
Squid: *peeks* He's in the shower.  
  
*Rina screams and runs towards the showers. Shae sits on the edge of Squid cot.*  
  
Shae: Oh, Squiddypoo?  
  
Squid: *too afraid*  
  
Shae: Squid! Answer me! *pokes him somewhere*  
  
Squid: *jumps up quickly* HEY! That was my butt!  
  
Shae: *clings to Squid's waist now that he's out of hiding.* Good. Me like your butt.  
  
Squid: Help me!! *Squirms around looking like a retarded hula dancer while trying to get Shae off*  
  
Shae: *clings tighter* WHEEEE!!  
  
Zigzag: *covers his eyes* I'm not mature enough to witness this!  
  
~*~  
  
MEANWHILE . . .  
  
Rina: STANLEY! STAAAAAAANNNNLLEEEEEEEEYYYY! Where are you?  
  
*Stanley dances to the Macarena in the shower. Rina sneaks up on him, but is disappointed that she can only see his top half.*  
  
Rina: STAAANLEY!  
  
*Stanley jumps in surprise and then bumps his head on the showerhead before going unconscious.*  
  
Rina: *gasps* STAAANLEY! I'll save you!!  
  
Random Audience Dude: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA! MWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! MWAHAHAAAAAHAHAHAAAHA-  
  
Rina: SSSSSHHHHUUUUUUTTT UUUUUUUUPPPPP!  
  
*Random Dude stops and looks scared*  
  
*Rina starts to hop over shower wall, but is stopped by Strict Censor Lady who blindfolds Rina. Rina tries to hop over shower wall, but slips and lands on Stanley.*  
  
Rina: Duude . . . I can't see! HELL-O! That didn't feel right!  
  
Censored Lady: We don't need a commentary!  
  
Rina: Yes we do! It's a frickin' fanfic! People can't see us!  
  
Censored Lady: Fortunately.  
  
Rina: Umm . . . yeah. I'm saving Stanley now! *drags Stanley out*  
  
~*~  
  
MEANWHILE . . .  
  
*The Camera Dude is still stuck in the hole and can't get out. Squid is still thrashing about like an idiot with Shae attached to his waist and Zigzag is standing there trying to cover his eyes and his chest at the same time.*  
  
British Sounding Narrator Dude: What will happen to our guests? Will they even SURVIVE second episode? Find out next time!  
  
Jerry Springer Commercial Break Dude: Want to be on the next episode of Oh My Gosh, They're Fictional Characters? Send an e-mail to the author at slowslugbug@netscape.net with this information:  
  
Name: (real one or made up)  
  
Age: (Real or made up)  
  
Your Personality: (Ex. Crazy, loving, psycho, etc.)  
  
Holes Character Whom You Are Wanting to Meet:  
  
What you do when you meet him: (has to be rated PG13, lol.)  
  
Thank you, and watch out for cows!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
*WHEW* Boy! That was fun! Can't wait for those reviews!  
  
~Shae~ 


	2. Natalie, Steph, Cadence, Alina and Candi...

"Oh My Gosh, They're Fictional Characters!"  
  
Episode 2: Rabid Fangirls Candi, Cadence, Natalie, Steph, and Alina.  
  
British Sounding Narrator Dude: Welcome back to "Oh My Gosh, They're Fictional Characters!" I'm British Sounding Narrator Dude, more fondly known as Barty. I'll be filling in for Miss. Heart, since she seems to be off on one of her rendezvous with a towel clad git. *Clears throat* Ah . . . yes . . . we are receiving new contestants today . . . several new contestants. I feel sorry for those dirt-covered lads. Ah, let us get on with the show, shall we?  
  
*Shae is still holding onto Squid. Squid has given up to thrashing and is just standing there with Shae clinging to him.*  
  
Squid: If I said I couldn't breathe, would you believe me?  
  
Shae: *giggles and tightens her grip* No.  
  
Squid: *sigh*  
  
Steph: *Runs into the tent* SQUID! SQUIDSQUIDSQUID! *runs up to him and glomps him*  
  
Squid: AAAAHHH! Not another one!  
  
Steph: *attaches herself to Squid's leg happily* I'm not gonna let you outta my sight!  
  
Shae: Me neither!  
  
Squid: Oh brother . . . *Wobbles out of the tent and makes his way to the Wreck Room in search for help*  
  
~*~  
  
MEANWHILE . . .  
  
Rina: Eh . . . Stanley, are you awake yet?  
  
Stanley: *drools*  
  
Rina: BLAH! Curses this blindfold! *Rips it off*  
  
Censored Lady: *Too busy doing her nails to notice*  
  
Rina: ALAS! Stanley, my butt naked . . . um . . . my butt's not naked!! Now I may see to bring you back to consciousness! *Pours water on him*  
  
Stanley: *Wakes up and screams* AAAAAAAAHHH! RAPE! RAPE! My innocence has been unwillingly taken from me!  
  
Rina: *blinks* I didn't rape you! *Thinks evilly "Now why didn't I think of that?"*  
  
Stanley: Oh . . . well then why am I naked? *Covers up*  
  
Rina: Erm . . . you hit your head and knocked yourself out in the shower. *Starts to slyly scoot closer to Stanley* You looked very SEXY too . . .  
  
Stanley: Oh . . . WAIT, you were spying on me in the shower?!  
  
Rina: Eeeeh . . . eeeeeh . . . no. *Shifty glances* But I sure got an eyeful when I took off my blindfold! *Snickers evilly*  
  
Stanley: I'm suddenly feeling the urge to run . . .  
  
Rina: *clings to his arm happily and sucks on her thumb* My Staaanleh! (A/N: She paid me to put that! *sulks*)  
  
~*~  
  
MEANWHILE . . .  
  
*Alina sneaks into D-tent and sees Zigzag standing there shirtless with his hands over his eyes.*  
  
Alina: *Eyeing his chest* Ooh. Nice! VERY NICE!  
  
Zigzag: *Thinking it's Shae and Squid* Oh, oh, I don't need to hear sound effects! Too much! Get a room!  
  
Alina: *giggles maniacally.* Oh, Ziggy . . .  
  
Zigzag: Who's that calling me?  
  
Alina: Open your eyes and you'll see!  
  
Zigzag: *Uncovers his eyes cautiously* AAH! *Covers up chest* my naked chest can't be revealed!  
  
Alina: Oh yes it can! SEXY CHEST! IRRESISTABLE! *Pounces on Zigzag*  
  
Zigzag: AHH! Don't hurt me!  
  
Alina: *showers him with kisses* MWAH! MWAHMWAH! YUMMY! *Pins him down so he can't get away and continues showering him with kisses*  
  
Zigzag: HELP! A strange girl who I don't know is kissing me all over! HELP!  
  
Alina: Mwah! Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!  
  
Zigzag: Please let go of me! This is very awkward and I think I'm lying in something gross!  
  
~*~  
  
MEANWHILE . . .  
  
*Magnet is playing pool in the Wreck Room with Squid, who is wearing a towel and has two girls clinging to him.*  
  
Magnet: So . . . what's with the chicas?  
  
*Squid growls*  
  
Magnet: Okay. Sorry.  
  
*Cadence walks into the Wreck Room and sneaks up behind Magnet. She is seen reaching for something near his waistline.*  
  
Cadence: *taps Magnet on the shoulder* Are these your ropa interior?  
  
Magnet: *turns around* Hey! How'd you get my boxers?  
  
Cadence: *smiles evilly* You really wanna know?  
  
Magnet: . . . No.  
  
Cadence: You have a very sexy el fondo. *starts edging closer to him*  
  
Magnet: *Gulps* Uh . . . thanks. Can I have my boxers back?  
  
Cadence: *hugs them* No! I've taken quite a liking to them!  
  
Magnet: No! My boxers! Gimme! *Tries to grab for them*  
  
Cadence: Nope! *stuffs them down her shirt*  
  
Magnet: *is trying to make a grab for them while she stuffs them down her shirt, but stops two inches from her shirt* Uhh . . .  
  
Cadence: *Fake gasp* ¿Es traviesa? Naughty, naughty! *Shakes finger*  
  
Magnet: *turns red and withdraws his hand* Eh . . . heh.  
  
Cadence: You have a sexy el fondo. I am en amor!  
  
In the background, Squid is trying to pry off Shae and Steph.*  
  
Shae: *in random spaz* YOU SMELL LIKE BOLOGNA! YOU ARE YUMMY!  
  
~*~  
  
MEANWHILE . . .  
  
*Candi walks into D-tent to see Alina kissing Zigzag*  
  
Candi: *GASP!* ZIGGY! I'LL SAVE YOU! *dives on them and starts tackling Alina*  
  
Alina: *tackles back* Ziggy's MINE!  
  
Candi: No! He's MINE!  
  
Alina: *pulls on Ziggy's arm* Mine!  
  
Zigzag: Owie!  
  
Candi: *pulls on his other arm* Mine!  
  
Zigzag: Owie!  
  
Alina: *pulls* Mine!  
  
Zigzag: OWIE!  
  
Candi: *pulls* Mine!  
  
Zigzag: OWIE!  
  
Alina: Mineminemine!  
  
Zigzag: Scary!  
  
Candi: Minemineminemine!  
  
Zigzag: Creepy!  
  
Alina: Mineminemineminemine!  
  
Zigzag: Frightening!  
  
Candi: Minemineminemineminemine!  
  
Zigazag: Fear-provoking!  
  
Alina: *deep breath* Mineminemineminemineminemine!  
  
Zigzag: I don't even know how I know this many synonyms for "scary"! That's terrifying!  
  
Candi: *deep breath* Mineminemineminemineminemin-  
  
Zigzag: STOP! You're SCARING me!! *whimpers and gets up to run away*  
  
Candi and Alina: NOOO! MINE!  
  
*Candi attaches herself to Zigzag's legs while Alina clings to his waist.*  
  
Zigzag: *whimpers in fright* Don't touch me in inappropriate places!  
  
Natalie: *walks into D-tent and sees the girls clinging to Zigzag* Ziggy! YUM! SHIRTLESS! YUM! *runs up to Zig and hugs him tightly*  
  
Zigzag: *howling in fright* LORD GOD, HELP ME!!!!  
  
Natalie: Ziggy! YOU ARE SSSEEXXYY!  
  
Zigzag: RAPE! RAPE! Unwanted physical contact! I can't MOVE!  
  
Natalie, Candi and Alina: GOOD! *all hug him mercilessly*  
  
Zigzag: *faints and falls over with the girls still hugging him*  
  
Natalie: *faints because she finally got to hug Zigzag*  
  
Alina and Candi: *are still hugging Zigzag for the heck of it*  
  
~*~  
  
MEANWHILE . . .  
  
*Rina is still holding on to Stanley's arm, and Stanley is still covering "himself" (COUGHHACKCOUGHLOL) with his hand.*  
  
*Magnet is still blushing after almost putting his hand down Cadence's shirt and she is still complimenting his butt.*  
  
*Natalie, Alina and Candi have fastened themselves to Zigzag and refuse to let go. Zigzag and Natalie are currently fainted.*  
  
*Shae and Steph are still hanging onto Squid, and Shae has taken to sniffing Squid's waist area and claiming that he smells of bologna. Steph has taken to happily hugging Squid's leg and refuses to depart.*  
  
British Sounding Narrator Dude: Ah, another . . . off the wall episode to this frenzied TV show. *mutters "why couldn't they sign me onto American Idol?"* WHAT may happen during the next episode? We may only see to find out . . . *walks offstage muttering about not getting paid enough*  
  
Jerry Springer Commercial Dude: We currently have enough contestants for "Oh My Gosh, They're Fictional Characters!" Thank you for reading this fic, and we're sorry if you were wishing to come on the show. The author is sure to write more interactive stories, so don't worry! . . . Hey! Whose pack of bologna is this?  
  
Shae: BOLOGNA!!!!! YUM!!! *chomps at the bologna, but lets go of Squid in the process. Squid wobbles away, Steph still attached*  
  
Thank you!! Love the cows!  
  
~Shae and her band of crazy people~ 


End file.
